Life is feeling difficult at present. I have slid into a period of depression. I said in my last post I was feeling down, well I eventually got to see my GP who has started me on a new antidepressant. I have been taking an antidepressant for years, but throughout my drinking it probably was not worth it, but my GP seemed to think that it might be an idea to change, as I had become low while taking the medication. I have been gradually reducing my current medication, and will start the new one on Monday. She has also sent me for blood tests to see if there is any underlying physical cause for my tiredness. I have been a bit defeatist about getting depressed. I thought with getting sober, maybe the depression was a thing of the past. But why would I think this? I had depression and anxiety before I became dependent on booze, it was one of the reasons I started drinking! D’oh!
I figure this is the end of a kind of ‘pink cloud’ period that I have often heard occurs in early sobriety. I was full of energy and optimism for quite a few months! The fact is that life goes on, and there are ups and downs. And I have to deal with them all SOBER. That is one good thing, in my depression and shitty happenings, I haven’t even thought of having a drink. That is one fantastic change I have made in my life that is still giving me cause to feel positive. And really, I should know, being a mental health worker, the feelings I suppressed for so long with booze were bound to re-surface at some point. I have started with a new therapist recently, and the shit that I haven’t dealt with that led to me drinking has to come out at some point, otherwise I may go back to the drink. It all makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
On a more positive note, I have an interview with Veronica Valli published today! The link is here: http://veronicavalli.com/2014/10/recovery-rocks-nina/. Thanks to Veronica for publishing. This interview was done a few months ago when I was in a more upbeat mood. I still want to do the things that I talked about, but I have slowed down a bit on them, need to find my mojo again! Oh, and I suppose if you read this interview, you will see my face, and find out my name, it’s Nina, I don’t think I’ve announced that on here before, so Hi everybody, Nina here!
Catch you soon xx